an answer

Seriously, God is so gracious. For someone that I can't meet for lunch, call on the phone, or snuggle on the couch and cry with, He somehow gives me those same comforts in moments like this morning.

Coming off my prayer last night, I headed to a Building Blocks speaker this morning. Seconds into her talk, I knew it was an answer to my prayer last night.

She started talking about what we're really passionate about. Oftentimes, I'm passionate about my to-do list or my own needs, over Reece's sweet little heart. She read an entry in her journal that is exactly the stuff I need to help set my heart right every morning. It will be by my bed as a start to the morning, and a prayer for the evening. I began crying as she read it...

Today is not about laundry. It’s not about repeating myself, preventing meltdowns or keeping the pantry stocked. And I refuse to let the demands of the day deceive me into thinking anything so trivial. Today is a vehicle for me to serve God’s purposes in a way unique from every other person on earth.

The man I love most cannot experience everything God desires for him unless I actively labor towards that end. To love is to die, and it is a privilege to die for him today.

I have three hearts taking shape before me, in the shadow of my words, my tone and my actions. Their crying isn’t an inconvenience- it is a window to strengthen them with gentleness in the midst of their weakness. Their fighting isn’t an irritation- it is one more chance for me to prepare them for a lifetime of resolving conflict Biblically. These days that seem so long will soon be years that passed so quickly, and I will not choose to live now in a way that seals future regret. To love is to die, and they are worth me dying today.

Today calls for more energy, more patience, more love, more grace, more gentleness, more resourcefulness, more perspective and more wisdom than I have. So let me remember this morning that my only hope of redeeming this day is to come to Jesus and die- that His life might accomplish through me greater things than I can even imagine. To love is to die, and He knows everything there is to know about that.

What a beautiful, selfless heart she has. I am grateful to have met her today, and grateful to be among women that yearn to be a wife and mother like this.

I'd been searching for books to help me, and bought one a week or two ago that STILL hadn't arrived. Today it arrived. And today, she recommended A Mother's Heart, a book I thought I had. When I got home, it was on the top of my stack, seemingly just patiently waiting for me to see it and pick it up. <3

Lord, thank you for being such a good listener. Thank you for such clear encouragement. We can't see you in the way that we do our friends, and sometimes that's a barrier to feeling close to You. Thank you for answering prayers, for revealing yourself so clearly, and for giving me the eyes to see you today like a friend, a father, and someone that cares for me more than anyone else.

Thank you, Lord, for another day.